Our Gift.
That's the title of this Willow Tree figurine I bought for Dave for our anniversary this year. Part of me didn't want to buy it because my doubts about having a baby were growing but it was a reminder for me to not give up and to keep trusting that our prayer would some day be answered. There were days that I wanted to throw it across the room, frustrated that another month and another negative pregnancy test had gone by. Sometimes I wanted to hide it out of sight as it was too painful of a reminder of what we didn't have. However it remained on our bedroom dresser along with the pair of baby shoes we bought last year and we kept waiting and hoping.
Now that we are pregnant (thank you Lord!), "Our Gift" continues to serve as a reminder to keep trusting. Although our prayers have been answered, our trust shouldn't stop here. God is still in complete control of this child's life and we need to trust His plan for him/her. I've already done a pretty good job of glamorizing parenthood over the past two years so I know I will need to trust in God's grace to get me through the challenging days. :)
I also pray that "Our Gift" will help me to REMEMBER. I was recently reading the book of Joshua and the Israelites had just crossed the Jordan River on dry ground to begin their conquest of Canaan. Before they went any further, God instructed Joshua to take 12 large stones and build a memorial so that when their children would ask what the stones meant, they would remember and share what God had done.
I see this figurine as my memorial. A visual to remind us of our journey of infertility - how God showed up in the pain and how I grew through the trials. A reminder of our lack of control and of God's sovereignty. It also represents the couples who continue to wait and hope for a child and reminds me to pray for them and to not forget their pain. Finally, it truly reminds me of our gift that God has given us and His grace of granting us the desire of our hearts. I know there will be difficult days ahead and days that I will likely forget that this is what I longed for. I pray that this will be a reminder of the wait, the longing, and the amazing, beautiful miracle of this life inside of me. God has heard our prayers and I feel so humbled and grateful that He has given us the opportunity to love and raise this child.
Thank you for praying for us and supporting us and we ask that you continue to pray for us as we enter this new phase of our lives. We ask that you also remember and pray for those who are still waiting. <3
