Media has a way of showing labor as a traumatic experience - the woman screaming and snapping at her husband, going through agonizing pain. Of course, the ending is always happy and worth it but the labor is seen as a necessary evil and means to an end.
I consider myself to have a low pain tolerance so I have always worried how I would have a baby. During our infertility, I thought on multiple occasions that God wasn't going to bless us with a baby of our own because He knew I wouldn't be able to handle labor and delivery.
Thankfully, I was wrong. :)
The journey I took and the preparation I had during my pregnancy completely changed my perspective on birthing and I can honestly say that I enjoyed our birth experience. I have become passionate about women and couples advocating for themselves and being informed about labor and birthing.
I know there are a million ways to have a baby and none of them are right or wrong. The "right" birth experience is one that fits the couple's desires and beliefs. Even then, I recognize that there are always unplanned events with birth and it won't always go as you hoped.
I wanted to share my story and journey of natural childbirth because it's something I believe in very strongly. There are so few people that I have heard say they enjoyed their birth and I think there's a lot we can do to change that. Again, I don't expect anyone to follow exactly what we did. In fact, that would be contrary to what I'm trying to get across as each birth is so individualized. I do strongly encourage women and couples to be well informed about the benefits and risks to each aspect of labor and birth so they can make the best decisions for themselves and their baby.
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When Dave and I got pregnant, I was not necessarily planning on having a natural birth. At that point, I didn't really fully understand what that meant. I wanted to try not having an epidural and based on stories I heard, I really didn't want to get induced. Natural childbirth sounded like a good idea but again my fear of pain made me question my ability to do so.
The first step in our journey was choosing a provider. I was currently seeing an OB-GYN but he was part of a huge practice so there was no guarantee that he would deliver my baby and I would likely have someone that I had never met before. This is what first motivated me to get a midwife. I was interested in having someone follow me throughout my entire pregnancy and then be there for the entire birth - not just the last 5 minutes. Having a midwife did not mean having a home birth. It just meant having a provider with a slightly different perspective and focus on childbirth.
As it turned out, I found that there were so many more benefits of seeing a midwife than just the guarantee that I would know who would be delivering my baby. Both of my midwives really took their time with us and I discovered that their philosophy of care really resonated with me. They focused on non-interventions in the absence of complications and encouraged Dave and I to be active participants in our care. They ensured we had the information we needed but gave us the autonomy to make the decisions. They focused heavily on evidenced based care instead of doing things because "that's the way we've always done it."
Among all the information that they gave us, we were provided with a comprehensive list of different kinds of birthing classes available. This went beyond just the classes that the hospital offers. I reviewed the list of classes and came across Bradley classes. This particularly sparked my interest because it was focused on natural childbirth and training the husband/partner to be a coach through labor and delivery. I wanted Dave to have an active role in childbirth so it seemed to fit.
The information we learned at our Bradley classes was invaluable. It had a strong focus on natural childbirth and sometimes felt a bit biased on that side of things but what I really appreciated about it was how it taught us to be well informed and then make a decision on what we felt was best. Throughout the class, we looked at inductions, C-sections, IV fluids during labor, epidurals, premature rupture of membranes, continuous fetal monitoring and more. For each intervention, we looked at the benefits, risks, alternatives, and what our intuition told us about it. This allowed us to not just go with what our medical system considers as "routine" but really question if it's the best intervention to use or know situations when it would be appropriate.
It opened my eyes to the way our medical system operates. Don't get me wrong, we are blessed to have great medical care and technology and if something goes wrong, we have great life saving procedures. However, I realized that not everything we do routinely for birth is necessarily evidenced based. One thing that really caught my attention was the routine use of IV fluids during labor. The reason women often get an IV in triage and later have IV fluids is so they can stay hydrated. Often times hospitals will not allow women to eat or drink during labor in case they need to have a C-section and have general anesthesia. There is a slight risk of aspiration in these situations so they make it routine for women to have nothing by mouth. What I learned though is that IV fluids can dilute the hormones working in the body to help the labor process so labor can be slowed and not as effective. It often causes swelling making breastfeeding difficult after delivery and also can cause a more dramatic weight loss in the baby after birth since the baby was impacted by the extra fluid as well. Having an IV also inhibits the woman from moving about freely during labor and can cause unnecessary discomfort. There are situations where an IV would be necessary but the evidence states it does not need to be routine.
Bradley taught us a lot of other really helpful tools to prepare for labor including relaxation techniques and deep breathing. There were several exercises recommended to do daily to prepare and strengthen muscles needed for labor and pushing.
Through the Bradley classes, I was introduced to the idea of having a doula. At first I was torn because I knew that my midwife would be there with me throughout the birth and wasn't sure that I would need another person since Dave was now pretty well informed of what to expect. My midwife encouraged me to do most of my labor at home in order to avoid interventions at the hospital and also to be more comfortable. We were also encouraged to have a doula as a support for Dave but also as more emotional support for me as the midwife would more be focused on the physical support.
Since we were going to labor at home and because we are a half hour away from the hospital, we decided to hire a doula to help us at home and help us determine when it would be time to go to the hospital.
Again, I fell in love our doula right away. She met with us a couple times before birth, providing us with various tools and relaxation techniques. She helped us create our birth plan - our preferences for birth knowing that not everything would be inside our control. She provided ongoing phone/email support during the last part of my pregnancy and helped prepare me for labor.
Through the support of my midwife, the Bradley classes and my doula, I started to become more confident that I could do this whole labor thing. I felt empowered by all the information and was no longer so afraid of it. I felt as prepared as I could be for something I never experienced before. Of course, there was still the fear of the unknown. Around 36 weeks, I started having some self doubt and feeling nervous about it but I just combated those negative thoughts with positive self talk, telling myself I could do it and that God created my body to give birth naturally. I didn't let the fear get the best of me.
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March 15, 2016 12:30 AM
My water broke and my labor started. I used what I had learned and practiced regarding relaxation and deep breathing. Things progressed quickly - so much so that Dave didn't recognize how far along I was since he was assuming it wouldn't go so fast. I knew I was farther along than he thought I was but had difficulty articulating it because I was so much in the zone of coping with my contractions. By the time our doula got to our house, it was past due to go to the hospital as I was starting to transition into pushing. She got in the back seat with me and assured me I wouldn't have the baby in the car which prevented me from completely panicking (I learned later she wasn't 100% sure about that haha ). She reassured me that I was doing everything right and coached me through each contraction. I honestly don't know how I would have made it to the hospital without her.
We arrived at the hospital at roughly 9 AM and Eli was born at 9:42 AM. My midwife was absolutely amazing. She had such a calming presence and gently coached me through the pushing and provided a ton of positive encouragement which really helped me get through it.
I can't tell you the sense of accomplishment that I felt when it was all over. I did it! I was stronger than I thought I was and felt so empowered that I had done it without any interventions or pain medication.
Of course none of that compares to the moment when I took Eli into my arms and met him for the first time. It was so miraculous and overwhelming beautiful.
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Would I describe my labor and delivery as painless? No. It was very intense, not easy and I was glad it was over. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and there was never a moment where I felt that I couldn't handle it or couldn't do it anymore. Granted, it was a very fast labor and I can imagine having more difficulty during a long drawn out labor.
Of course I'll never know what labor would have been like without my midwife, the Bradley classes, my doula and all the preparation I did - I never will. But I do feel that they all played a part in giving me the confidence I needed to get through labor and the confidence to be able to do it without a lot of interventions. I wouldn't change anything about my birth experience (except being at the hospital a little bit sooner hehe). I am so grateful that Eli's birth was not a means to an end but a journey - a journey that I am glad to have experienced as it allowed me to trust my body with what it was created to do.
Thank you to our midwives Sarah Lagrand and Breck Reinsma and our doula Brenda Baar for helping us!
For more information:
http://www.aobgyn.com
http://www.overthemoondoula.com/
http://www.bradleybirth.com/
http://evidencebasedbirth.com/
