Six Months

6 months. Half a year.  In some ways it feels it has gone by quickly yet it's also hard to imagine life without our little (or not so little) Eli.  Time is funny that way.

Every day has been a blessing.  That's not to say that there aren't days when I'm completely exhausted or get impatient or frustrated.  Trust me, the days are far from perfect but at the end of the day as I put him to bed and watch him sleep, my heart is so full and I thank God for blessing us with another day with our son.  

I love being a mom  I've had a few different jobs over the years but nothing has given me as much of a sense of purpose and fulfillment than being a mom.  I feel totally in my element and feel that it's something that comes naturally for me.  This does not mean I'm perfect or don't doubt myself on a regular basis.  My husband will tell you how I've asked countless times, "Are we doing the right thing?!??"  But every day that I get with Eli feels like such a privilege to be able to watch him grow and learn.  To be able to hold him and kiss his cheeks and tell him how much I love him.  It all seems too good to be true.  

You might think I'm a little morbid for thinking this but I'm under a constant realization that I don't have control over Eli's life and God could chose to take him at any moment.  I wouldn't say it's something I'm constantly thinking about or worrying about but it's just a reminder that every day is a gift.  I think it also comes from the realization and experience that life doesn't always go as planned.   Seasons always change and there will be storms that will come again.  

Until then, I am making every effort to enjoy every day of this joyful season.  I'm trying to soak it all in, to relish every moment, not take anything for granted.  It's tempting to think ahead and get excited for the "next" thing. But I'm reminded by these past 6 months that time goes so fast so I'm taking time to enjoy the present moment.  I know I won't be able to hold him in my arms forever.  And let's face it, once he starts crawling and walking there's no turning back...and once he starts talking I'll probably look back on these days quite fondly. :)  

It's easy to be joyful in this season when things are going so well.  I pray that God will remind me of this attitude when the storms come again and that I will learn to be grateful not just in the good times but the hard times as well.  To learn to not take things for granted even when it's more tempting to wish the days away. 

Today, I celebrate the joy the past 6 months has brought to me and the love and grace God has shown me through this little (or not so little) boy so full of life and love and laughter.  I love you Eli and I love being your mom!

P.S.  You're so adorable I can hardly stand it!